Addiction
by Sarahhh93
Summary: Based sometime in season five, what should be a normal hunt turns out a lot worse. Sam struggles with his addiction to demon blood and here we see it in full power with a not so happy Dean. It's rated M for swearing. This is my very first fanfiction ever...reviews or suggestions on where you guys think it should go would be awesome :D
1. Chapter 1

"You going to send me back to hell now?" The demon spat, she was tied up and in the devils trap. No escape.

"Send you to hell?" Dean laughed harshly his face only inches away from the demon that possessed the girl, "We can do better, I'm going to kill your sorry arse." He laughed again seeing for the first time fear in the monsters eyes. "Go for it Sam." He smirked as his brother walked forward swinging Ruby's knife in his hand.

Sam walked forward neither happy nor unhappy with the outcome of today's events. Lifting the knife slightly higher than his shoulders he allowed it to begin its decent.

"No wait, please wait." The demon screamed, "I'll help you, please don't kill me." Her breathing was faster and Sam could see the pulse at her neck beating fast.

Turning questionably to his brother he allowed his attention to drop from the threat in the room and that was when she striked, kicking out with her foot that she had wriggled out of her bonds landing on Sam's firm torso. He fell forward, when the demon now untied completely threw a punch landing on the side of his face and in the shock of it felt the knife being pulled out of his hand. Groaning he allowed the pain to take over for a millisecond before the adrenaline took force and survival mode kicked in. Dean was by his side before Sam had even stood up both now staring at the wild girl threatening the knife at them.

Keeping his hands held high Dean circled the demon, "How did you do that?" He demanded.

"Oh please," It scoffed the knife flashing in her hands, "As if something like that could hold something like me."

In midst of her boasting Dean lunged forward hoping to catch her off guard, but he had not anticipated her to be that strong. She screeched pulling the knife in front of her, smirking when it impacted with his skin. The smirk was short lived however when another pair of hands came from the side forcing them in such a way that she had no choice but to drop the knife.

Sam fell to the floor grabbing the knife whilst above him he knew Dean still wrestled with control over the demon. Standing up the two brothers worked in perfect sync to bring the girl to the floor and before she could wiggle free of Dean's firm grip Sam was kneeling above her, two hands on the knife. Watching the monster squirm in a futile attempt to be free Sam pushed the knife into her chest leaving it there for longer than necessary as he watched the demon violently shake before whatever life that was inside left.

Breathing heavily Sam pulled the knife out of the body only noticing then the blood that began bleeding onto her chest. Without thinking he felt his whole body tensed as he starred hungrily at the demon blood that was only inches away from him. His free hand reached for the knife where his two fingers gingerly wiped the blood and breathing deeply with his eyes closed he brought his fingers to his mouth. Any second now he would taste something he had not had for months, something he craved for everyday, something that would indeed make him powerful. He felt his mouth open ready to give into his addiction, he was so close-

Firm hands grabbed his arm pulling it away harshly from his mouth, Sam turned momentarily confused before looking up at his brothers pissed off face. Eye contact was for only a second before a fist collided with Sam's face throwing him to the floor his eyes closing.

Dean worked quickly, he took the knife from Sam's hand wiping the excess blood on the dead demons clothes before placing it in his back pocket. Bending down he shook Sam violently before pulling him to his feet. No words were spoken allowing his body language to show how pissed off he was, keeping Sam in front of him they ran out of abandoned building towards the car where he opened immediately and sat down frowning when Sam stood outside.

"Sam get in the car." He growled, and when he had not moved swore under his breath before standing up to meet his brother's guilty look.

"Dean," Sam began, his voice shaking as if arguing for control, "I-"

"Get in the damn car." His voice was low, threateningly so. Sam blinked in surprise before obeying where he sat awkwardly as his brother drove off.

"Dean can I-"

"Save it Sam I don't want to hear it." He growled, keeping his face firmly on the road in front of him and Sam getting the message sunk further into the impala's seat wishing he was anywhere but here.

"Jesus Sam." Dean exclaimed, his voice slightly higher than normal in the hope to hide his discomfort and horror.

"Dean-" Sam began turned from the sink his face wet from the water he had just splashed on it, trying to keep the hurt off his face when he saw his brother step back.

"Just don't ok." Dean turned to the window unable to look at his brother running his hand through his short hair-a telltale sign of his unease. Moments of heavy silence past where the older brother just stared blankly out the window of the on goings of the people walking by. God what he would give to have their simple lives, just for one day. Turning back around he faced his brother, noticing for the first time the agitated way his body moved. "How long?" His voice firmer than intended.

Sam knew what he was asking and desperately trying to appear strong he turned to face his older brother. In the past few months he had tried to forget that Dean was older, looking at him as a friend more than an older brother who had raised him. But now starring into his brothers angry eyes he felt like he was a child again.

"How long Sam?" Dean snapped his voice rising.

"A couple of days," Sam watched as that registered with him his eyes widening with anger, he spoke faster desperate for him to understand "But Dean I haven't. I just said that the last few days have been hard." Sam took a tentative step forward out of the dingy bathroom his eyes never leaving Dean's.

Dean raised his hands behind his head highlighting the cut made earlier by the demon they had killed. "And you didn't think you should mention that before we ganged that son of a bitch?"

Sam looked down clearly unsure on how to approach his pissed off brother, silence fell again and Sam could practically feel the negative energy steaming off Dean. Taking a breath he looked at his brother frowning slightly when he realised Dean was studying him. "It's not something I can switch off Dean. I screwed up I'm not saying I didn't and I'm living with the consequences of it. I'm dealing with it."

"Dealing?" Dean raised his eyebrows at that statement. Walking to the table he poured himself an over generous amount of whisky downing it before looking at his brother who had not moved from the door of the bathroom. "I wouldn't say me practically dragging you off the whore dealing Sam."

Sam cringed at the memory of being pulled by firm hands off the demon they had killed with Ruby's knife.

"I'm going out." Dean exclaimed walking towards the door before turning around to face his brother, "Stay here."

Sam watched as his brother walked out the door slamming it shut before sighing he rested his head in his hands the temptation for demon blood still pulsing through his veins.


	2. Chapter 2

There was nothing on the TV, Sam had skipped over every channel before in anger he threw the remote across the room. His whole body tense as he sat on his bed unable to control the involuntary shakes of his body. He concentrated on his ragged breathing _in for ten, out for ten, in for ten..._ He pulled his hands to his head and squeezed hard trying to drown out his cravings. It did not work so he stood up and walked to the bathroom slamming the door as he went.

Stripping off he turned the shower on leaving it on cold before he jumped in inhaling quickly as the ice cold water collided with his skin. He stood still for what seemed like hours allowing his body to become numb and breathed a sigh of relief as his cravings numbed with it. Only when he felt he could breathe without exploding in desperation did Sam turn the shower off and stepped out.

He dressed quickly and was pleased that his shivering now was due to the cold he felt and not anything else. Walking into the room he noticed Dean was yet to return and shaking his head he jumped into bed. He would fix things with his brother tomorrow after he had had time to comprehend what had happened tonight.

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Sam barely slept that night waking up every so often to noises going on outside. At not long past three he heard the door go and turning he saw his brother stumble in. Closing his eyes quickly he pretended to be asleep not wanting the argument that he knew would happen. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dean throw his jacket over the chair before he stumbled into the bathroom shutting the door as he went.

Five minutes later the door opened and his older brother stumbled out making towards his bed, keeping his eyes closed he frowned slightly when he heard Dean stop by his bed. Sam did not have to open his eyes to see Dean was studying him.

"Damnit Sammy." He heard his brother mutter before he saw him face plant his bed, passed out before his head touched the pillow.

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Sam rose early the next morning, the winter's sun only just creeping in through the window. Turning he saw his brother lying how he had landed just a few hours before. Most of the time the expression on his face along with the snoring would be comical but today Sam just frowned before turning and fishing out the keys from his jacket.

As quietly as he could with a final look at his brother he walked out closing the door quietly as he went. The harsh cold air caught him by surprise as he wondered the parking lot to the impala parked the furthest away from other cars. Jumping in quickly he turned the ignition allowing the car to warm up before he drove off. The roads were dead at this time in the morning and Sam putting his foot down enjoyed the acceleration.

It only took ten minutes to get to the town where parking up he noticed people were out, busy walking without noticing anything most probably on their way to work. Noticing a small diner he made for that, and inside grateful for the warmth he ordered two large coffees and a selection of their breakfast menus before paying and leaving.

Feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket he reached in and sighing saw the caller ID _Alex Smith, _Dean's latest phone number. Inhaling he answered with a cheerful "hey."

His brother however did not return with the happy talk, "Where are you?!"

"In town I just picked up some breakfast, I'm heading back now."

"And you decided to take my car?" Dean was angry, Sam could hear it in his voice and trying to keep the peace Sam didn't rise to it.

"I didn't think it would be a problem. Look I'm on my way back now I won't be long."

The call had already cut out by the time Sam had finished talking and gritting his teeth Sam concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and not lashing out at the nearest wall.

Maybe it was because he was angry, or because he was still craving something he couldn't have...but even so for a trained hunter he would kick himself later for not noticing what was behind him.

He was nearly at the car when he heard footsteps behind him, frowning slightly he picked up his pace deciding to figure out if it was coincidence someone had just appeared and was walking the same way. As if he was ever that lucky.

"Well well well if it isn't the famous Sam Winchester." A deep male voice stated.

Sam turned around slowly his hands still full from the coffee and food he was carrying. He studied the man in front of him, he was shorter than Sam but that meant nothing. Sam knew a demon when he saw one, having killed so many over the years you switch on. He knew about their unnatural strength and the way they never seemed to get hurt.

Dropping the food he reached for the knife he had taken from the table before he left, and now he had never been more thankful that he had. Holding it firmly in his right hand he held his left arm up to protect his torso as he advanced on the man. He watched as the man edged towards him, a sly look on his face. He jumped forward forcing Sam to blindly slash at air in desperation as he stepped back...straight into the arms of another demon.

"Didn't think I would come alone id you?" The man scoffed at the thought and laughed as Sam elbowed his captor before kicking backwards allowing himself to be free. Retaliating at what the boy had done the demon grabbed hold of his arm before flinging him to a car parked ten feet away.

Sam cringed on impact but adrenaline pumping threw his veins he stood up before he could feel the pain he knew would come later. The demons advanced and now fully prepared Sam aimed for one before turning last second stabbing the other quickly in the heart allowing the body to fall to the floor. Jumping fast he landed on the other forcing him to the floor where he lifted the blade placing it again in the demons body and watched as it squirmed for a second before it stilled.

Breathing heavily he sat wiping the knife's blood on the body but not before he caught sight of it and any control he had possessed this morning vanished. His body began to shake shouting at him to give in and accept what was in front of him. Unsure of how long he sat still starring hungrily at the blood Sam shook his head before standing up.

_NO! _The functioning side of his brain shouted and relying on that he listened dragging his protesting body with him. Cringing as the adrenaline left his body Sam could now feel his side and looking at his reflection in the cars window he noticed a cut bleeding down his arm. Knowing he would have to sort that when he got back he turned the car on desperate to leave the blood before he knew there would be no going back. The breakfast and coffee now long forgotten...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So this is the last bit to it (I think unless I get bored and want to write some more!). I'm not a doctor or anything medical so excuse me if it's wrong, but it makes for dramatic effect so please no hate if it is wrong!**

**I REALLY REALLY REALLY would love some reviews to let me know if this is any good and what people thought!**

**Anyhow on with the show, enjoy **

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Sam and Dean or anything supernatural **

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Opening the door Sam practically fell into his pissed off brother. Jumping back he winced as the movements caused pain in his side where he had been thrown.

"Where have you been? You told me you were coming back like an hour ago?" It may have been an exaggeration but he was in full big brother mode and therefore it was allowed! Dean's voice was accusing, and frowning he looked at his brother who shakily side stepped around him walking to the restroom. Frowning harder when he didn't answer Dean followed and watched as his younger brother got some tissue, wetting it and then placing it on his face.

"What happened to you?" Dean frowned his voice harsh, worry forming in his stomach. He stepped forward trying to glance at his brother and noticing the blood that was coming away from his face.

"Sam?!" his voice filled with concern this time he stepped forward trying to pull his brother to face him so he can see for himself that his Sam was okay.

Sam's breathing was still harsh and his heartbeat pumping at double speed jumped back out of Dean's reach and cringed as again he felt his ribs twinge. He was too ashamed to allow his brother to help him right now, too ashamed in having to admit to him that his addiction with demon blood has not gone away. Immediately he felt bad looking at the hurt look on his brother's face and trying to calm things down before another argument happened he said apologetically, "I'm fine Dean, really, I am. I..." He hesitated looking down and not at Dean.

"I what?" Dean said, his face blank from any emotion, he would not allow Sam to see how worried he was.

"I will explain later. Just please give me a minute to sort myself out."

Dean wanted to say no, to demand to know what was going on that instant, but looking into his brothers puppy dog eyes he resigned. "Okay Sammy, Okay." He nodded again before stepping out of the bathroom and allowing his brother to shut the door leaving him alone in the suddenly large motel room.

He flicked through the channels keeping it quiet and listening intently for any noise from the bathroom that would sound alarms in his head. All was quiet however, and after twenty minutes he heard the shower turn on. Sighing he tried to calm his worried emotions down, trying to remember that Sam was a grown up and perfectly capable to look after himself. But then he remembered last year when he tried to give Sam his space and instead he watched as his brother turned to a demon before him own brother. Watching how he became more addicted to demon blood, more desperate for Ruby's cruel addiction. He shook his head stopping those thoughts before they consumed him. His brother was fine he rationalised he could hear him in the bathroom.

Trying not to watch the clock Dean could not help but get agitated as time went by and his brother had still not appeared. Surely 'sorting himself out' couldn't take this long?!

Finally he heard the latch of the bathroom unhinge and quickly he turned his attention to the programme on in the background. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his brother now seemingly more relaxed walk to his bed. He watched as his brother cringed as he sat down and bit his tongue as again he wanted to know now what had happened. He kept his attention on the TV waiting for his brother to make the first move.

Sam grunted as he leant back and looked at Dean, and sensing he was being watched Dean turned to face him. His actions almost sheepish, unsure of how he is meant to act.

"I got jumped by a demon after I got off the phone to you." He declared, clenching his hands together before risking a glance at his brother.

Dean kept his face neutral and nodded, "You kill the dick?"

"Dicks." Sam corrected and at Dean's shocked face explained, "There was two, and yeah I did." Dean nodded unsure of where this was going. He did not want to sounds judgemental but there was a niggling question he needed to know the answer to.

"Okay so what happened?" He kept his voice calm and the judgement out of it. For the time being.

Sam shrugged, "Nothing, threw me about a bit, I killed them..." His voice trailed off and for a second he turned his attention to the TV playing quietly in the background.

Concern radiated off Dean. He sat up now, wide eyed "Did you...?"

"Did I what Dean?" Sam's voice turned harsh and defensive leaning forward to meet his brother's face.

"Demon blood. Did you drink it?" Dean raised his voice too his eyes studying his brother. He didn't _think _he had, I mean he didn't seem like he was last time he was doped up on it but he needed the reassurance that he hadn't.

Sam laughed bitterly rubbing his hands over his face, suddenly he was tired, very tired. Like breathing was too exhausting tired. "No I didn't." He mumbled lying backwards resting his head against the pillow and closed his eyes. Exhaustion was taking over and for the first time in days his cravings were vanished, he just wanted to sleep.

"What's wrong with you?" Dean was on his feet closing the gap between them in two steps he hovered over him concern radiating off his body language.

"What? Nothing just really tired man." He mumbled turning away from his brother and keeping his eyes closed allowing himself into the darkness. He wished Dean would shut up his entire body screaming at him to sleep, but his brother wouldn't allow it and annoyingly he felt firm hands shaking his shoulders forcing him to open his eyes.

"Did you bang your head?" Dean demanded shaking him every time he closed his eyes and lifting him slightly in the hope it would keep his brother conscious.

Sam shrugged sluggishly "I don't remember." He willed his sleepy brain to think but he just couldn't be bothered and again he allowed his eyes to droop.

"Sammy," Dean shook his brother again, "Sam wake up." His voice harsher this time, more of an order, "You can't go to sleep, not yet. Talk to me kiddo, don't close your eyes."

Sam's eyes was closing again and Dean determined to keep him awake slapped him not too gently across the face. "Where did the demon hurt you?"

It was slow in response but Sam sluggishly pointed to his side where Dean gently pulled his shirt up and starring at the purple bruises forming across his brothers side.

"S'not broken, just bruised." Sam slurred, and Dean nodded agreeing with him. He relaxed a bit sitting on the side of Sam's bed before walking to the bag that carried their first aid kit. Digging it out he searched it quickly for the pain killers they kept and finding the strongest ones they had he walked over handing them to Sam with a glass of water.

"Thanks." Sam muttered as he took a sip of water before sagging against the pillows.

Feeling more relieved after knowing his brother was okay, Dean sat back down on his bed before muttering, "Sleep Sammy." He turned his attention back to the TV although always having one eye on his brother in case anything was to happen.

Minutes past and Dean believed Sam was asleep, his steady breathing a constant reminder that Sam was alive and although a little banged up it was nothing they hadn't faced before.

"I'm sorry." Dean heard a mumble that sounded like that and turning he saw his brother lying on his back but his eyes open looking at Dean.

"For what?" Dean frowned, looking at Sam he couldn't help but smile at his oversized brother sprawled hopelessly on the bed.

"You know what for." Sam muttered, keeping his eyes averted from Dean.

Dean knew, he knew it as soon as Sam had started talking. He nodded, "You have nothing to be sorry for Sam."

"I let you down again." He muttered.

Now it was Dean who wished he had banged his head, he wasn't good at these chick-flick moments and just didn't know what to say. Give him a drink and that was a far better way to deal with any unwanted emotion. Knowing he had to reply he turned to his younger brother, "No man you didn't. You thought you were doing right who can blame you for that? I just..." Dean faltered unsure how to phrase his next sentence but seeing his little brother starring at him he shrugged suddenly unfazed by the openness. "I just worry Sam you know and I don't know how to act when you tell me you're craving _that. _I don't know what I'm supposed to do." He glanced at Sam and saw him still lying still staring at the wall.

Sam's answer was easy, "Trust me."

Dean frowned he hadn't been expecting that.

"Trust me." Sam said again looking at Dean, "Trust me not to do it. Just because I crave it doesn't mean I will, I know what it does to me now." There was silence for a moment Sam was growing tired again, his eyes drooping and he was unsure of how long he would be able to stay awake for. Just as he fell into the peacefulness that sleep brings he heard his big brother mutter "Yes Sammy I trust you."

**So...that's it guys let me know what you think! And thanks very much for reading, hope you enjoyed! **


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